THE PATH NOT TAKEN

       This week I was quite befuddled about what to write, until at around 6am on Saturday morning the answer came to me in a dream. Thanks to my idealic subconcious mind, I saw my life for the first time of what might have been.
      Back in 1985 I made the inevitable decision to leave my job as a Radio Announcer in Port Hardy BC to move to a better paying job in Peace River, Alberta. Nonetheless, what if I picked one of the two job offers, I had previously to that. They were in Terrace along with Fort St.John BC. I admit I often wonder of what might have become of my life, if that had happened. Well thanks to my never ending stream of dreams I constantly have the "path not taken"  which was shown to me on this particular morning.
      Here is what I dreamed.....humor me for a moment, I think you will find it quite different, in fact!
      So here we were,the year of 1985 in Fort St.John BC. Now it was just Terri and I along with our cats Doc and Ginger. I would be working at CKNL Radio as the "Afternoon Man" and Terri had transferred to another Saan Store.
      My womanizing ways would continue for another year, until after endless affairs, finally Terri had had enough and moved back to Woodstock, Ontario. I was left with the two cats, but at least I still had my job as a Radio Announcer. Within another year, I would have unseated the "Morning Man" from his post, due to my incredible ratings. I was now the "Man" that everyone in Fort St.John woke up to, as they dove into their cheerios, drove to work, or just listened in town now.
      Fast forward to 1987, I was now working at another Radio Station in the busy metropolis of Vancouver. I still wasn't married, but carrying on my "playboy ways." The women I was dating here, was a "who's who" ranging from radio groupies, to sales staff, to barflys. After a series of unsuccessful relationships, failed investments, and declining ratings, I found myself hitting "rock bottom." I was now working the dreaded midnight to 6am, graveyard shifts but at least I still had my health or did I?
     Upon further evidence, I found out I had the dreaded disease "Aids" obviously from all the unprotected sex I had with countless women over the years. What would I do now? Where would I go now? I was completely lost. One night the answer came to me, in the form of a brown bottle and a loaded revolver....the answer was clear.
      Suddenly, I woke up screaming, my wife telling me, I had another bad dream, that she was beside me, and everything was okay. My dog Okee was fast asleep cuddled beside me, unaware of what just happened.
      Thankfully that never happened, as fate stepped in and steeered me toward a more convuluted path, that led me to the life I lead now. Sure it took me an inordinant number of jobs, that ranged from "sales, disc-jockey gigs to truckdriving. But in the end I was left with a stepson, stepdaughter, daughter in-law,2 wonderful grandchildren, a neice and nephew, a woman that stood by me for over 22 years now, and a career I never would have chosen in driving a "Big Rig" So given the choice, I think the answer is quite evident, I would have gone for "door #3" which is my eclectic existence today. Thanks "dream gods" I won't be wondering what might of been anymore! Enjoy your week....here is the excerpt of what really happened back in 1985, read on.             
      CHAPTER-7 : ALBERTA BOUND

      It was now March 7, 1985, and a 73 yr old Ronald Reagan had just taken oath for a second term as the 40^th US President of the United States. Unfortunately, in Canada our Prime Minister now, was the very unpopular Brian Mulroney.

      What a complete trio of misfits we were. There was Terri, and myself with our 2 loyal cats, Doc with Ginger hauling a U-Haul full of our furniture and personal belongings in tow. The only thing missing was the boat, which I had to sell to pay for the U-haul along with the fuel for the move.

      Looking back on it now, it seemed like a very long trip; however the picturesque scenery helped our 789 mile trek go smoother. The route we travelled started out with, BC Ferries on The Queen of Prince Rupert to Prince Rupert BC. After that, we travelled across to the mainland of Prince George straight across The Alaska Highway onto Peace River Alberta.

      My cat Doc, was quite the travelling companion too, as Terri would take pictures of him sleeping all sprawled out behind me lying on the armrest of the inside of car door!  Meantime, I am driving as this is taking place. No cat, to my knowledge would ever sleep like that; as everyone knows most do not travel well in cars.

      Our new home was a rental in a basement suite, which we rented from the news director and her husband. Terri had transferred from Saan’s in Port Hardy to the Saan store in Peace River, so all was good, money-wise. She was now full-time and with a slight increase in my salary, everything was finally going our way once again.

      I was working “Midnight Drive” to 6AM, and I also announced on the odd evening shift which was from 6 in the evening to Midnight, every other week. I always thought these people I worked with, really liked me and respected me, but that wasn’t the real case.

      I attribute my fall from “radio’s grace” to be, oddly enough the way I looked and dressed at that time plus fucking religion! Actually in this era, I wore my hair very short, spiked and I sported 2 dangly earrings on the left side of my ear. I dressed in blue jeans, sneakers and was always showing off some rock music group t-shirt, normal for a “Disc Jockey” in radio at that time, or so I thought.

      In point of truth, I actually resembled Cory Hart as this was the 80’s, and his hit song “Sunglasses at Night” was played constantly on the airwaves. Had I known that Peace River was and is to this day, a part of the “Bible Belt of Alberta” I never would have taken this radio job. Also to add to the animosity of the whole situation, I blindly found myself in, over 80 per cent of the people that worked at this radio station, were serious “Bible Thumpers” that all went to the same god-dam church!

      Little did I realize that after my 3 month “probation period” was up, my radio career was going to take a dramatic turn. Afterall, I was expecting a raise and maybe a promotion to working the evening shift, though what I received was a complete surprise of bewilderment, but above all hurt! I was totally blindsided when it became apparent I was fired! Oh it was politely and so eloquently put to me, that I was just not what they were looking for. Let us just analyse the whole prior situation for a moment shall we.

      I had travelled just over 700 miles and spent $2000.00 in moving and fuel expenses to be told this, 90 days later!  “Give me a break!”

      There was no warnings, or reprimands of any kind prior to my firing at AM 61, CKYL Radio. I had now come to the firm conclusion that the people that worked at this actual radio station and especially their fearless Program Director, Keith Flawsmuth were the biggest fucking assholes I ever came into contact with. Even to this day, 30 years later, I can still honestly say there is still a part of me, which will always be bitter about what happened to me in Peace River, Alberta. Those people dramatically altered my course of direction that my life was supposed to have taken!

       So, now I have to go home that evening and explain to my gal Terri why I am not in radio anymore. Well that sure didn’t go smoothly at all, furthermore we had a huge argument that night. I even left the apartment shortly after our heated discussion and ended up going to a local bar, getting extremely drunk and sleeping with some barfly, I had just met there. Anyways I leave this chick’s apartment, early the next morning, but a great night of non-stop sex, still doesn’t take my pain away, after being forced out of my radio career, which I loved more than life itself!

       I get in my car but I can’t stop thinking about the previous days events, as I am driving up, what was commonly called, 12 Foot Davis Hill, although the proper name was Grouard Hill. It was referred to as 12 Foot Davis, because a prospector of the original “California Gold Rush” named Henry Fuller had been originally born in the hills of Vermont USA in 1820.

       He acquired the nickname “12 Foot Davis”  when he had come from California. Fuller, first staked his claim on a 12 foot gap, between 2 other prospectors in Quesnel, British Columbia. This stake of land gave him 12,000 dollars of gold at that time, and with his new found wealth had moved on to the Peace River area.

       After his death, in September 1900, his buddy, “Peace River’s, Jim Cornwall” had his body brought back from the Lesser Slave Lake Area, and the remains of the old trader buried on the spot with a commanding view of the Peace River on Grouard Hill overlooking the town. There was a marker put at this serene gravesite at the top of the hill overlooking the Peace River Sound Area. Anyways I must admit thoughts of instant suicide creeped into my mind.

             This final time I was sure going to go out in a blaze of glory, and “dam them all!” I thought, as rivers of tears flowed down my cheeks.

WHAT IS WANT OR NEED?

      I have been receiving quite a bit of feedback about the Go Fund Me Website this week since I launched my own campaign in trying to raise $5,000.00 for the publishing of my book. I also went on that site myself to check out what exactly people need the money for and to say the least I was shocked. I get that there is a need for everything out there from weddings, medical equipment, vet bills, charities, business investment and yes even all kinds of people who have written books for publishing ventures like my own.
      What we need however is to establish the "Want" from the "Need!" so just how do we do that.
      Well, to start off with a need is defined as to require something because it is essential or very important. Another way to put it is expressing necessity or obligation which is quite simply a circumstance in which something is necessary.
       Therefore is having say, electricity in your home a want or a need? I would say need because you have to use it for things like cooking, reading, or watching TV. What about heat, is that a need? well of course, without it, especially in our Alberta Winters, a person would surely perish. What about water? is that a want or need. Again I would say it is a need, as over 60 percent of the human adult body is water. The brain and heart are composed of 73 percent water along with the lungs which are about 83 percent of H2O. So of course water is definitely a need right?
      Now let's get into want, oh yes the greed, the desire to possess something or wish for it? Maybe even a demand, a longing for, a yearning which inevitably leads to craving it!
       Therefore, a want quite simply put is a luxury, so getting back to Go Fund Me, websites are they mostly want or need? You're absolutely right, most are wants.
        I am not disputing that if a boy who has terminal cancer, or a girl that needs an operation for a new leg is necessary. Those are truly legitimate needs. What about a woman that has to have an operation for her goat, or it will die. Ah ha, that is a want, now isn't it? I mean it's sad, but again it's not a need.
       So here's one, is sex a need or a want then? Obviously, that can be construed as both right?
       All of us have a desire to feel wanted, loved or held, so I say sex is actually more of a need, because we could actually die from it, due to health complications of depression, anxiety and yes even suicide.
       So that brings me to the publishing of my first book. Is it a want or a need. Well,of course, it is a want. I mean I certainly won't die if you people don't help me to raise funds for my book.
       I mean can you blame a guy for wanting to create a better life for himself, by leaving a career that he really doesn't care about anymore. Can't you see, that my writing will help me to attain more time with my wife, my family, and inevitably my grandchildren. That's all I ask, not much, just a bit of a push to get me, what I want!
      However I strongly feel that I can not only entertain you in my upcoming series of books, the first being "Temporary Satisfaction" but I also feel you can probably learn a few things in the process.
      In conclusion, I want to thank everyone for your comments whether they be positive or negative. Have a great week!
        Here is another page from my book "Temporary Satisfaction" enjoy....
   
        It was dear sweet Celina Wachovia who taught me that phrase. She was always in the kitchen fixing baked goodies and tidying up.  It’s been 52 years and I still cannot forget that saying to this very day.

       I should also mention our unusual neighbour, Old Tom, an elderly single gentleman who lived all by himself. Instead, of chumming around with other kids my age, I found it more intriguing to visit Old Tom, usually just after I came home after school was out. We would watch episodes of Gilligan’s Island while munching on Peanut Butter and Jam sandwiches with a glass of milk.

 In my 6th year of 1970, I had made it to Grade-1, the same year that Richard Nixon had just become President of the United States. Meanwhile Pierre Elliot Trudeau was our Prime Minister in Canada.

 My new teacher was Mrs. Anderson, although I was now reading well; I was still finding it difficult in following directions accurately, plus still needing that extra special attention. I was also having problems in printing on the lines and I was talking to myself a lot. If I was given too much to do, I got frustrated with myself and would just sit there and stay in a bad mood for the rest of the day. My problems in mathematics started to surface here in Grade-1 as well. As for my home-life, I guess it would be considered normal for that time period. I do recall that my Mom and Dad were always, both working to pay the bills. My Mom also worked part-time for my Grandpa Wade in his catering business at Harvey Woods. My Dad was an Architect’s Assistant who was instrumental in designing fire-trucks at King Seagrave.

  Our neighbor Julia was kind of like a big sister to Chuck and I. You see, Julia was the type you could play checkers and monopoly with, a real tomboy of sorts. Furthermore, Chuck and I would always get invited to visit the Wachovia’s and have tea, polish sausage and cake.  Mrs. Wachovia would make this most scrumptious and tasty yellow yeast cake from scratch. In fact all their kids would eat everything homemade; nothing ever, even came out of a can.  

    If truth be told, my neighbour’s daughter Fallon Wachovia was my first boyhood crush! Fallon was always the one I would hear about from her younger sister Julia. She would tell me about her teaching French out in Montreal, Quebec. It always sounded so mysterious and far away to me.Fallon was probably my first “Puppy Love.” In my eyes she was this striking green-eyed goddess but the problem was she was rarely at home. When she was though, I became glued to her literally and following her around her home like a love sick puppy dog.

          I have a few sad and even frightening memories living by the Woodstock fairgrounds to tell you. One day, when I was around 6 years old a real terrifying incident happened. I was playing with my dinky cars in my sandbox like I always did, especially on those real hot days. The forecast was for overcast skies but the clouds were dark and foreboding. My Mom was in the house doing the laundry and my brother Chuck was having his afternoon nap. I was all by myself out in the backyard, when nobody was around. Next thing it starts to rain, but I continue playing in my sandbox being in my own little world. It rains even harder now and a large crack of thunder is heard rumbling near me. I look up in the sky and a long bolt of lightning escapes out of the clouds and heads right from where I am sitting. That electric coil splits the tree trunk beside my sandbox, and then I screamed so loud running back into the house.Yep, I ran right in the kitchen with wet pants and it wasn’t from the rain either.

    Another terrible memory I will never forget happened there too. It was the sudden tragic death of my beloved cat, Tinker Bell. The worst part about it was it occurred around the following Christmas.Tinkerbell, like all cats that are around a Christmas tree was very curious and would swipe at the icicles with her front paws. Her target was hanging beneath the tree until the thin shiny short strands would fall onto the carpet. Then she would ingest them; probably thinking they were cat treats.  What they actually did was wrap around her tiny little intestines, which would in turn put plenty of pressure on her tiny heart, thus cutting off the blood supply quite quickly. Now, this would have been an extremely painful and excruciating death for an animal. I relived this story to let all of you pet lovers know and realize the danger of these heart-stoppers. If you don’t have pets but maybe you have small infant toddlers instead. Don’t let these shiny heart- killers come between your most loved of pets or your own young children!

    I will never forget that day I buried my beloved cat, Tinker Bell. It was under that old birch-tree that lightning had torn apart. I had wrapped her limp body, in a rag and placed her in a shoebox with a short note enclosed in it.

    There were these words I wrote: “Dear Tinker bell, I loved you very much, now I’m without you....signed your Master... Brian.

    Wow, what a downer that was right? Ok well on a more humorous note, I do recall being the neighbourhood showboat!

    We had an old black-iron steel monkey-bar set that my Dad had made for us. He had gotten the iron from one of The Harvey Wood`s Plants and had a buddy of his weld them up for him. Around the end of every August was when the Woodstock Fair would come to town, and it so happened that we lived right across from those busy fairgrounds. My Dad charged about 25 to 50 cents for fair customers parking on our property. They would get out of their cars and there I would be sitting up on those monkey bars. I would be swinging and hanging upside down on occasion. Most of these times I would fall down on the ground, land on my butt or even fall on my face. It would hurt a bit, but because I had a captive audience, and was also to be noticed, I made the most out of it. I was always trying to be a movie star! In fact later on in my second book “Sidewinder” we will go more into my short lived attempt at the business of modelling and acting.

     All kids have problems when they start school and I was no exception. One of my biggest hang-ups was telling time. I always got the big hand mixed up with the little hand. That specific problem would haunt me right up till around Grade Six or so. Many times I was teased and even ridiculed for that on- going challenge of mine. It’s a good thing I have always had thick skin when it came to situations such as those. I thank “Timex” for the invention of the Digital Watch in helping me to master the art of telling time. In fact, upon my seventh birthday I received a watch with that magical digital insignia on it and never had problems telling time after that.

9 YEARS IN THE MAKING

       This is the very first of many blogs regarding my upcoming books "Temporary Satisfaction",Sidewinder", "Road History" and "The Final Mile.
So why on earth would you ever want to read my first book, let alone my other 3 books in the very near future? That's a really good question, I mean to start with, this book is about my life! I know what you're thinking, what makes my existence so special, nothing actually. I mean I am a hard working person who goes to work Sunday Night thru till Thursday Nights.
       Come to think of it, everyone's life out there in "blog land" can be a book, no matter how boring, or even how exciting your energy has been. Its all in the way you tell it!
        My editor recently said to me, "there are two things people will either like or hate in your book Brian"
         It's the non-stop drama and sarcasm that's within these pages that will attract my readers to want to find out my never-ending escapades, adventures and inevitably the settlement of taming a wild stallion like myself.
         So really I am no different than anyone out there, like you. It's just that due to my continued impulsiveness, and never say die attitude that makes me quite original in fact. I have always had a drive within myself to never be second best, yes I want to be number 1, but don't we all to some degree.
         Most people were taught by their parents to get a good education, marry your high school sweetheart, have kids, get a 9 to 5 job, buy a house, go on a vacation and save for retirement.
         Well, that's all fine and dandy, but what if some of us never followed that path, in fact, what if someone like me for example, strayed so off of that path, he considered a different highway entirely.
          That is precisely why you would want to read a book or a series of books like my own.
          Sometimes the road not normally travelled makes for a good read, and that's where I come into the picture.I mean I started my life as a Radio Announcer and now I am a truckdriver hauling chickens! How does that happen, you ask?
          So enough said, what I am going to do, is wet your appetite just a little, on various page excerpts in my book, in no particular order. Now, of course, I will throw in the odd stupid thing that happens in my daily life as well. Believe you me, there is not a day that goes by, that something weird or different,happens to yours truly. I will be blogging every Saturday, from now on, with something I hope appeals to ya.Feel free to drop me any comments, whether they be negative or positive and enjoy my blog. Thanks for reading...

                                               TEMPORARY SATISFACTION

 The story of a man who transformed his life constantly, whether he wanted to or not!                                                                                                                                                                                                                 This is my story and if I had to do it all over again, would I change anything? The answer would be a  resounding Yes!

      This book is a true reflection my own reality as trying to sell myself as a person in society.

      Furthermore, when I usually do things, I tend to carry them out more to the extreme! It all depends on what the circumstances are at the time. Ultimately it brings me to the crossroads of what I am doing now. This is not a book where a guy goes from rags to riches. I’m sure you’ve read enough of those and we always know how they end up right?

       Some people may consider me as an impulsive, spontaneous, and creative person most of the times. It’s pretty difficult to change who I am. Think about it, does a leopard change its spots? As a matter of fact, many times in my life I have been called “An Impossible Dreamer”. 

        I’m the guy that works best on his own!  Just give me the directions how to get there and what needs to be done. I will eventually excel at it and it will always get taken care of. However, it might not get the care it requires properly at first.  

        I’ll never forget what someone once said to me. “Brian, when you walk over the water, you know where to find the rocks to step on!

         I was born under the sign of the Water-Bearer; Aquarius and my birthday is on February 14, 1964, which falls on Valentine’s Day. I am the “Hopelessly Devoted Romantic!” so women have always been my “Kryptonite!”

         What really defines me is a 2500-year-old system developed by the Greek Philosopher Pythagoras. He created a near perfect number system in 60^th Century BC called the science of Numerology.

        This system is an exact blueprint of exactly who I am, as it describes how I behave in certain situations as well. It illustrates what my strengths and weaknesses are; furthermore, it expresses to me what obstacles I must overcome to achieve complete contentment in my life. It also shows me how I can improve “The quality of my own existence!”

        I give full credit to my Facebook friend, Glynis McCants “The Numbers Lady” for some of her valuable research, on the theory of Numerology, which describes my own number in the following sentences.

       My personal life-path number is a nine. As Glynis states from her book, “Glynis Has Your Number “there is a real creative edge to my being.

       If I was to be labelled, I would be known as “The Humanitarian”. Furthermore, I have always had a selfless quality in me, as this is what has always ruled my determination in the past, now and forevermore. I am determined to succeed at any costs, no matter what the circumstances are, or even the outcome. Keep this in mind, as you read through this book because you might even see me as condescending and vain at times. Actually, that confuses people I meet quite often because it is the extreme confidence I have always had within myself! You will also discover that I also have strong emotional ties with my family. However, that is not always as clear-cut, as you will find out in “Book-2”I can also become a chameleon of sorts as I have the ability to blend into any situation, whether it is good for me or not.   

       On the very day, I was born, twenty-five thousand screaming teenage fans were seen at New York’s JFK Airport as they  welcomed John, Paul, George, and Ringo” The Beatles! This was also their very first time on American soil. Another chronological fact has Jimmy Hoffa had also successfully organized all United States Truck Drivers into a single “Teamsters Union.” In hockey, the Stanley Cup winner was The Toronto Maple Leafs and the Academy Award-winning movie of 1964 was “My Fair Lady”. 

      The top 3 songs on this day were “Baby Love by The Supremes, Can’t Buy Me Love by the Beatles and Chapel of Love sung by The Dixie Cups. These are all love themes and close matches that I was somewhat aligned within this period of time. 

      I was born on the day of Romance, and my astrological sign, means “The Lover of the Stars” What about the top 3 songs of 1964 being about love? Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but I never believe in things that happen by chance? There is always that reason where something happens; we just don’t understand it at the time.

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